This week’s Amazing Race took the teams to Dubai. I particularly enjoyed the part at the airport where someone asked for a “ticket to the Persian Gulf.” And someone else had to say, “The Persian Gulf is not a country.” Between that and the people who didn’t recognize a photo of Jackie Kennedy, I weep for our future.

Since this leg featured the only Fast Forward in the Race, I figured it would be non-elimination. Because for some reason this show tends to do that. But they faked us out, and Lance & Keri were eliminated. Yay! They made so many navigation mistakes, there was no way they’d ever catch up. Laters! Try not to kick the host on the way out. I was hoping Lance would also receive a penalty for smashing one of those clay pots, as well as pouring out the water in the one he used. He is such a dick. Will not miss him.

Also, Harlem Globetrotter guy? I like you, but I GET IT, YOU’RE FROM NEW ORLEANS. Did he start a single sentence without the words, “In New Orleans…”

Loved how they went from the blazing hot desert to the snow. Fun. They’ll probably all be sick now, ha ha. Oh, did one of the poker players swallow a horseshoe or something? They continue to get lucky break after lucky break. They completely destroyed their car!

ORDER OF FINISH:

1. Meghan & Cheyne (FF)
2. Brian & Ericka
3. Flight Time & Big Easy
4. Gary & Matt
5. Sam & Dan
6. Maria & Tiffany
7. Mika & Canaan
8. Lance & Keri (ELIMINATED)