Courtesy of our PVR which remains temperamental even though I am almost sure it’s a machine and not moody, I was unable to watch Survivor so instead I can choose between Golden Girls and movie called Surfer Dude with Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson. I could recap those, but I think maybe it’s better to wait until I get my hands on yesterday’s show tonight.

I haven’t seen it yet, but feel free to discuss in the comments, and I’ll be right back.

Okay, I’m back, and unfortunately what I’m back to is this:

Parvati the Irresistable has shown absolutely no personal growth since the last time we saw her. She giggles, she makes eyes. But not everyone is susceptible. Personally, I think she’s gross…she’s dirty and she looks like she smells, kind of like Kevin Federline. Jerri is even a bit jealous, but she doesn’t need to be because Coach can see right through her!

And we him.

Coach prepares for the challenge in his very special way. He is centred. He is strong, and he will be victorious. The challenge is for both reward and immunity; opponents pair up and try to knock each other into the mud. Coach knocks Rupert out and begins his song of victory. But wait! What? What’s that, Jeff?

Coach had pushed Rupert partially with his arm, so they fought again. This time Rupert easily beats Coach. Cirrie also easily beats Jerri, who at the last second decides she doesn’t like the game and tries to run away. JT nails Tyson, and then Tyson kisses him on the head. Amanda does this to Whatserface Frillypants:

James climbs up onto the platform and he looks like he’s been eating steroids and people. He throws Randy into the mud with one shove like the sad, sorry ragdoll Randy is. The Heroes win, and I’m pretty sure James belongs on the other team now. He’s an asshole!

At tribal council they discuss the meaning of past Survivor relationships on the players this season. Coach collects firewood like nobody’s business; Sandra points out that the machete “grew legs and walked off,” because she KNOWS someone hid it, because it’s something she would (and totally did) do. In the end, none of it mattered because they all got rid of the person they liked the least, Randy. No one likes Randy.

Next week Coach cries like a baby and Russell is declared a bonehead. Same old, then.