So, it’s Veto Night on Big Brother. I kind of want Cowboy Steve to win the Veto, just because it would upset Jessie so much. “THE VETO DID NOT SHOW ME RESPECT!” Let’s see what this episode has in store. 

We go to color post-nomination ceremony. Steve looks like he just smelled a fart, and then DRs that Jessie hurt his feelings. I crack up. Really? Jessie congratulates himself, telling us that he’s won every competition and HE IS AWESOME. In the bedroom, Steve does the typical Doomed Houseguest Reading The Bible thing, as he and Angie talk about his nomination. He further DRs about how sad he is. Man, dude takes everything so damn seriously.

Elsewhere, Michelle is giving Jessie a pedicure and I’m puking. Jessie asks her if she “had higher expectations” of the people who would be in the house. What a dick. What he really means is the people in the house aren’t hot/shredded/ripped enough. She mentions that she was thinking about a showmance but, oh well, he has a girlfriend. He quickly shits all over his girlfriend, insisting, “I’m DATING.” What a douche. He says his girlfriend knows he’s single. The hell?

Memphis appears to have shaved off his riverboat captain mustache. Thank christ. He tells Jessie they should bring Michelle and Angie into their alliance, which Jessie dubs “Team Badass,” and is he kidding me? Why must we all name our teams? Chilltown, you started this shit. Now end it. Outside, Steve and Renny talk about Hurricane Katrina. They bond over how they were both greatly emotionally affected by it. Not for nothing, but I think Steve would be greatly emotionally affected if he stepped in a puddle.

Later, in the kitchen, Keesha tells Steve that she really wants him to stay, and if she wins Veto, she might give it to him. Interesting. Then it’s time to pick players for the Veto comp — this week we’ll have Jessie, Dan, Steve, Michelle, Libra and Keesha.  Look how tiny Jessie is! HA HA! Also, Memphis’ ugly mustache is back. Editing shenanigans!

Veto Competition! There are giant drivers licenses, and every photo is hysterically bad.

Like mine. You guys, my photo is so bad that I’ve considered “losing” my license and going through all the paperwork just so I can get a new one taken. I want mine to look like Janice Dickinson’s. Anyway, the players have to make words or phrases out of letters on license plates. Dan is the first eliminated. Then Jessie, woot woot! Then Steve. Oh goddammit. Jeez, these people are terrible under pressure. Next out is Libra. Yay! It’s down to Keesha and Michelle, and Michelle wins. But the damage seems to be done — everyone is wondering why Keesha was playing so hard. Jessie is totally pissed off because Keesha wanted to win Veto and change the nominations. Yeah, how dare she play the game so it’s beneficial to her and not Jessie?

Steve tells Keesha to watch her back, that people are gunning for her. She clips her nails and complains to Renny about Libra and the others. Renny gets her worked up enough where Keesha ends up in the dining room fighting with everyone about why she tried to win the Veto. Renny’s strategy right now is “deflect, deflect, deflect” and it seems to be working. Next, Keesha goes to Memphis and Jessie and complains about Libra. The boys agree with her and start to worry about Libra potentially winning HOH. The words “backdoor” come up…interesting. I think that this (Keesha talking to Memphis and Jessie) actually occurred AFTER what we see next. That makes more sense to me, anyway.

The subject of Libra comes up again with Keesha, Jerry and Renny. Renny takes the opportunity to point out to Jerry that Libra complained about having two old people on her team for the Food Competition. Jerry confronts Libra, and Libra…well, Libra goes batshit crazy. Yelling and screaming right out of the box. Jerry gives as good as he gets, and Libra becomes more and more shouty. Meanwhile, Renny stands in the hall and drinks her coffee and I laugh and laugh. You know, this whole argument is ridiculous. Libra DID say what Renny’s claiming she did — at this point these people are arguing over specific words.

Steve talks to Jessie about possibly getting rid of Libra. Jessie calls Michelle up to HOH and the three of them discuss Michelle using the Veto, and backdooring Libra. Michelle doesn’t want to do it, but Steve tells her that she’ll be a hero if she gets rid of Libra, the loose cannon of the house. Steve tells her to go ahead and take Dan off the block instead of him, to prove that she can trust him. She seems to respond to that. Let’s see what happens at the Veto Ceremony. Both nominees make their speeches, wherein Steve makes the fantastic statement, “Brian tainted me with his stigma.” YEAH HE DID.

Michelle decides against using the Veto on either of them. Damn. I wonder if she told Libra about what went on. Dan DRs that Steven is definitely going to go home. In his DR, Steve vows to shove everyone’s head in the toilet. Seriously. It’s kind of awesome.