Hey, y’all! I’m back from a sci-fi convention (don’t judge me, YOU watch American Idol). Anyway, here’s my slightly-delayed recap of this week’s festivities.

It’s Disco Week and Simon’s soul died a little more. Still and all, our Idol wannabes pulled off most of their performances. Also, the show stayed on schedule enough that on performance night, only a little end applause and final farewell by Ryan were cut off. The difference? No guest coach, no filler images of the wannabes practicing and talking about how working with “X” was great. Instead, we actually get to hear from all the judges after each performance. Gee, did the producers — gasp! — actually figure it out?

Results night kicks off with Paul Abdul reminding us that she used to be one of the best choreographers in the biz. She teaches the Final Seven some complicated dance routine to open Results Night and they perform it to Shake Your Body. They’re all wearing 70’s fashion and…well, let’s just say when it comes to the ability to dance, the results are mixed.

Our first casualty of the evening strikes lightning-fast. Lil Rounds, who performed, “I’m Every Woman” to the general disdain of the judges. Lil’s up — over to the Stools of Sadness — and off the show! Wham, bam, so long, ma’am!

Which leaves us all sorts of time to fill up the middle of the show. They do this by having several 70’s icons hobble out on their walkers to croak out their signature songs. Okay, that’s mean. No one actually has a walker.

Back again to what matters, Kris is next up. He sang, “She Works Hard for the Money” and the judges loved it, including Paula who thought calling him a tranny was complimentary. No, really. She yammered something about him shopping for women’s clothes. Simon’s head turned completely upside-down trying to figure that one out. In any case, Kris is safe.

Adam’s turn. You know the drill — Adam sang, “If I Can’t Have You” and made it all slow and romantical and the judges came at the end and he’s safe again.

Danny sang, “September” and the judges all liked his vocals, but Simon added that he’s a total spazz when it comes to performing. Danny says he can do better and he’s gonna get the chance, ’cause he’s safe.

Anoop’s turn. He sang, “Dim All The Lights” really, really slowly. Randy and the Paula’s liked him fine, but Simon said it suckity-sucked. America agreed and he’s off to the danger zone center stage.

Matt, our judge’s save winner from last week, and Allison are up next. Allison sang, “Hot Stuff” and changed it up, too. Randy and the Paulas didn’t love the arrangement although they loved her and Simon thought she was totally brill. Matt sang, “Stayin’ Alive.” The arrangement wasn’t loved by the boy judges and Simon in particular was Most Displeased. You know he didn’t want to save him last week. In any case, Matt’s saved by America and Allison is inexplicably sent to join Anoop in Purgatory.

David Archuletta, who still looks 12, performs one of his new songs. Yeah, I thought he was more talented than that, too.

In the end, it is Anoop Dog who is banished from the stage. Okay, good, all is right with the show again. I have to say, when it comes to who has been sent home when, Season 8’s been much more on target than previous years. Did the Idol producers hunt down and kill all those Vote for the Worst people?