• Brendon & Meow Meow up were up for eviction
• Brendon won Veto; Matt put up
• Double-eviction night!
• Good-bye, Matt! (who dropped an awesome Baba-Booey reference during his interview with ChenBot)
• Hayden HOH
• Brendon & Ragan up for eviction
• Good-bye, Brendon!
• Lane HOH
• Pandora’s Box
• Lane wins $91
• Ragan & Brendon up for eviction
• Penguin suit

Last night was just plain fun. Someone in Britney’s family has a hysterical sense of humour and sent along the world’s BEST worst pageant photo ever, for display in Britney’s HOH room. Love. Also loved Lane’s reaction to being compared to Britney’s fiance, which I’m sure stemmed more from the fact that he wants to BE her fiance.

Lane turned it on completely in the diary room and in the backyard when he unleashed his inner BEAST HE DON’T GET THAT NAME FOR NOTHING YOU SEE IT YOU ACT IT YOU SAY SOMETHING ABOUT MY MOM, BAR? and totally pressed 1,983,234 lbs. Wow.

Mensa is starting to realize the Bruh-gayed is after him and begins having dreams of shirtless Hayden visiting his parents. Britney said she’d dreamed about him and goes, “Why is he trying to be in our family?” Mensa was disturbed at Hayden’s dream shirtlessness, but dude, HE NEVER WEARS A SHIRT. Don’t worry, it doesn’t make you gay to dream of a shirtless man, Matt, but maybe they don’t teach that at MENSA.

Strategy-wise, I don’t know really know what Britney’s doing. Brendon is, at this point, the man to take to the end. He cannot win, everyone hates him, it’s stupid to get rid of him now. I would have liked to see Hayden and the Meow Meow on the block, but Britney nomnommed Brendon and Meow Meow instead.

I love that Matt is holding those pretzels in this picture. Hilarious.

So, last night Matt & Lane were on the block. The consensus was that Matt would be voted out. BUT WAIT! Matt had the Diamond PoV that he got from Pandora’s Box two weeks ago. He saved himself, nominated Kathy to take his place, and the entire house was completely GIDDY. Britney in particular was hilarious. I have a feeling they’ll be sorry Matt stuck around, though. He’s going to screw them all.

On Wednesday night’s show, Brendan opened Pandora’s Box also and won a trip out of the house for 24 hours. Big Brother insinuated he’d be visiting Rachel, so it was pretty effing hilarious when Rachel appeared in the house right after Brendan was whisked out of it. She came in screaming at everyone and ended up in a fight with Ragan where he finally pointed out to her that the reason she was in the house was because she was PUNISHMENT, and she completely deflated right in front of us. It was kind of awesome, especially after she had just made a snotty remark about his homosexuality.

So, Kathy was evicted and I kinda felt bad for her. It all happened so fast! And then we had the HoH competition and Enzo actually almost won. It was his best performance ever, heh, made more fun by the fact that Julie Chen kept yelling at him. But the victor this week was Britney. Should be fun…

I gotta say, I love when an underdog emerges victorious, even if I hate her or him.

So I laughed my ass off when Brendon won HOH this week. That competition looked brutal, and listening to him randomly talk to himself and yell Rachel’s name into the ether really cracked me up. The looks of complete horror on Britney’s and Ragan’s faces when he won was priceless. And then Britney’s Diary Room confession that she’d rather fall down the spiral staircase and break her neck than have to go look at Brendon’s  HOH room. HA!

So Brendon put up Lane and Ragan for eviction. I imagine Matt will use his Diamond POV to take Lane off the block…who do you think he’ll put up instead? And apparently there’s another Pandora’s Box coming. Who wants to bet that Brendon will get to see Rachel? I could puke.

Party supply wear
The ribbon dress was stunning
Casanova – yikes.

See all the looks here.

It’s Restaurant Wars
So someone goes down in flames
Wish it was Alex

See all the dishes here.

Brenchal’s stupid plan was to make himself seem like the bad guy so that he would get voted out instead of Rachel, who truly deserves to win the game. Only he had trouble doing that because every time Rachel would fail at friendship (she needs counselling from Snooki to learn how to get friends back) he’d storm in and act the angry dad. Britney, Regan and Kathy have been calling him a neanderthal, which he didn’t like, but DID know how to pronouce. But it doesn’t matter how smart you are or how well you correct the pronunciation of the insults being thrown at you, it’s all trumped anyway by a tiny blond walking like a neanderthal to prove her point. Oh excuse me, that’s Neander-Tall. (Which is totally true, but at that moment? Who cares?)

Then our Saboteur Ragan stirred things up a bit more when he announced that this weeks’ vote could be moot because there’s no guarantee that whomever is leaving won’t come back. Rachel yelled, “Ohhhhhhhh!” But then she trailed off and I realized she has no idea what sound came out of her mouth. After the Saboteur’s announcement (which may or may not be true), Rachel and Brendon camped out in a private room and laughed because they figured the rest of the house was stewing.

Which they might have been, except for the fact that they think Rachel is the saboteur and I don’t see any way this vote is going to come out in her favour, even if Brendon starts really acting like a neanderthal.

So! Candice brings us interesting but unsurprising news. Candice and her mom enjoy drinking copious glasses of wine while they watch BB, wincing at how Brendon is a total dramatic pussy, same as he ever was. “Yes, take a drink!” exclaims relieved Mom of Candice. “We really dodged a bullet there, didn’t we, Family! Whew.”

Also, Candice is Team Rachel, which made me laugh. But is she Team Edward or Jacob? THAT is the important question (barf).

Final speeches were equally embarrassing…Rachal screamed about true love while Brenchal compared himself to the witches in Salem who were burned for being themselves. Um, they weren’t burned because they actually WERE witches just trying to be themselves, hanging out on the strip, doing their fancy magic tricks and scaring babies. No, these were ordinary women victimized by mass hysteria and religious extremism. Close enough, right? Sigh.

Rachel just couldn’t re-friend the houseguests in time to get them to keep her, so it was unanimous. I can’t wait to see if Brendon will return as a man of science, or as a wounded Boo just trying to care for his woman.

During the interview Rachel kept repeating that the houseguests were afraid of her. Julie then hinted that there may be a way to see the BB House again. Hmm…Enjoy the jury house a la Britney: Wooo! Tequilaaaaaaaaa! Gag.

The HoH competition didn’t end with the show, so we don’t find out who that is until Sunday. Or you can just google it.