Honestly. Is there much else to say about that? My god.

See the rest of the looks here. I thought the winning dress was gorgeous.

At the Heroes camp, Rupert and Amanda are pissed about JT’s flip to get rid of Cirie. At the Villains camp, almost everyone humours Coach and participates in some of his meditation exercises. Then Coach starts singing like an Orthodox priest and Sandra and Courtney start to laugh. Russell isn’t interested in any of that, so he uses his time to look for the idol…and he finds it! He declares that Rob is no longer running the show.

Reward challenge today is Football for Crazy People, and the reward is a smorgasbord of chocolate (and bright beach towels). I don’t know why they crave chocolate while they’re out there. If I was hot, sticky and thirsty, I would not want to eat a bunch of chocolate. The Heroes look grim and refuse to even look at the chocolate. Colby gets snippy with Jeff, in a hurry to start the challenge…and then he sits out. Almost immediately, James wrenches his knee horribly and has to sit out for the rest of the game, leaving the Heroes short a player. Soon after that, Rupert accidentally smashes Jerri’s face into the fencepost. He apologizes, but Jerri just brushes him off. The Villains win, and Jeff asks James to stay behind to get checked out more thoroughly by the medics.

The Villains travel to a beautiful park with manicured grounds, and gorge themselves on chocolate desserts. Then they go swimming in a gorgeous lagoon/grotto/cave. It’s just astounding. I need a tropical vacation. While everyone’s cavorting, Russell confides in Poverty about the immunity idol he’s found. He also shares the news with Coach and there is much bowing, kneeling and ceremony as Coach and Russell express gratitude for each other. BARF. Coach actually starts to rethink his opinion of Russell just because Russell honoured him with trust.

At the Heroes camp, they all discuss whether James will be back. It’s been a long time since the challenge and Amanda is in tears, distressed that James might not come back to the game. He does, and as he hobbles up the beach, Amanda goes running to him. He tells them that they don’t know exactly what’s wrong with his knee…it doesn’t hurt but he can’t bend it. He wants to keep playing. Candice immediately wants to cut James loose if (I mean, when) they lose the immunity challenge.

The challenge is another familiar one. Everyone’s blindfolded and partnered up. Each tribe has a caller who directs each pair toward large puzzle pieces that, once collected, need to be assembled into a cube. This challenge is always awesome because blindfolded people are funny. And when blindfolded people hit other blindfolded people in the head with giant puzzle pieces, that is also funny. So? What’s wrong with a little Schadenfreude? That’s why we watch these shows, isn’t it?

In a shocking turn of events, the Heroes lose the challenge! Har. Rupert and pals want to oust Tom, while Colby and Tom discuss getting rid of James. JT runs around, thrilled that he gets to be the swing vote again, but he needs to be careful of that. Swingvoters usually get eliminated quickly in this game. At tribal council, James insists he can beat anyone physically despite his knee issue. Everyone votes. JT swings back toward Rupert and Amanda and votes out Tom.

Next week: Rob and Russell are in love.

This week Lost showed us the parallel between Ben’s island life and his alternate reality life as a teacher.

On the island, Ben is forced to face his previous actions when Ilana takes him prisoner and orders him to dig his own grave at gunpoint, which he does. Ilana states that Jacob was like a father to her, and that Ben will pay for murdering him. Miles comes by to offer him some food which Ben declines, and then tries to bribe Miles to free him with the same amount of money Miles earlier tried to extort out of Ben. This time Miles declines, and he points out the graves of Nicki and Paulo and the $8M worth of diamonds buried with them. HA!

Evil notLocke eventually saunters by and offers Ben a chance to join him and tells him about a rifle he’s hidden in the jungle that Ben would be able to reach in time to escape. He tells Ben where to meet him later, at the Hydra station, and then he leaves. Ben runs to get the rifle and indeed makes it in time to take control of the situation, but instead of shooting Ilana and getting away, he tells her about how he sacrificed Alex for Jacob; about how he allowed himself to be talked into killing Jacob because he thought Locke would be the only one to have him. Ilana is impressed with his honesty and his struggle, and tells Ben he is welcome to stay with them on the beach.

In the alternate (or concurrent) reality, Ben is Dr. Linus, an unappreciated high school history teacher. He’s a meek and quiet person who cares for his sick father at home, a father who regrets joining the Dharma Initiative so long ago, because he thinks Ben would have fared much better in life if they hadn’t gone.

Alex Rousseau is in Ben’s life as one of his students, and she has serious hopes about going to Yale for college. Ben offers to write her a recommendation, but she needs one from someone who has gone to Yale, and decides to ask the school principal. During this same conversation, Ben learns that the principal has been having sex on school property with the school nurse and is completely disgusted, especially since he butts heads with the principal on a regular basis.

Previously, Dr. Linus was having lunch with Arzt and talked about how the principal doesn’t care about the school, and Locke, who happened to be a substitute teacher there, suggested he become the principal instead.

Once Ben has some ammunition against the Principal, he gets Arzt to crack the school nurse’s email account and gathers damning evidence. At this point, we see that Ben is not such a meek man after all, that somewhere in there he has the same drive to succeed, and the same willingness to destroy others in order to do so. He threatens the principal with the emails, demanding he quit and recommend his job to Ben. The principal counters by saying that if Ben executes his plan, he’s going to write such a damaging letter for Alex Rousseau that she wouldn’t be able to get into college. At this point I was convinced that no matter what was happening on the island, he was going to sacrifice Alex again.

But he DOESN’T. And in island reality, he chooses to stay with Ilana, Lapidus, Miles and Sun. Is it possible for Ben to find redemption?

Jack and Hurley are having their own adventure on their way back from the lighthouse. Hurley is trying to stall Jack and keep him away from the Temple as per Jacob’s request, and they run into Richard. Richard tells Jack he will lead him to the Temple. Instead, he leads them to the Black Pearl. He’s very angry; he wants to die but because he was “touched” by Jacob, he cannot die by his own hand. He asks Jack to light the fuse of a stick of dynamite while Hurley leaves for safety. Jack lights the fuse and then sits down to have a talk with Richard. Richard keeps asking Jack to leave because he doesn’t want Jack to be killed along with him. Jack insists that he won’t be, because of his experience in the lighthouse, because he knows that Jacob has been watching him his whole life and therefore believes that he can’t be killed because he’s there for a reason. The fuse nearly runs out but extinguishes itself before it reaches the dynamite.

Earlier in the episode Sun has a conversation with Ilana where she learns that she is a Candidate to take Jacob’s place. There are only six Candidates left, Ilana says.

Soon after their experience at the Black Pearl, Jack, Hurley AND Richard arrive at the beach. Sun is thrilled to see her friends, and wonders about Jin. Ben tries to become part of the group and helps out on the beach.

“South Park: The Complete Thirteenth Season Uncensored” DVD and Blu-Ray will be released nationwide on March 17^th!  All fourteen episodes from South Park’s thirteenth season are available in this exclusive three-disc set. Roll with the boys as they save the economy, the whales, and a bunch of dead celebrities, all while discovering the joys of fish sticks. For them, it’s all part of growing up in South Park! Details and how to enter after the jump.

For the first time ever, the DVD and Blu-Ray will include exclusive deleted scenes and the bonus features include “Inside Xbox: A Behind-the-Scenes Tour of South Park Studios” and free codes to unlock character and challenge levels in the “South Park: Let’s Go Tower Defense Play” game on xBox Live Arcade.  Episodes on the DVD version will be presented in widescreen format and the Blu-Ray version will be in full HD (1080p). Visit SouthParkStudios.com for more information.

To enter, tell us in the comments which South Park character you relate to the most and why. Only one entry per commenter allowed. Make sure you put in a valid email address, as that’s how we’ll contact the winners.

Contest ends Tuesday, March 16th. Winners will be notified soon after via email. US residents only.

A fun episode of The Amazing Race last night. Sauerkraut, beer, burping, Germans, soccer, bungee jumping, more burping.

The cowboys fell behind but still rocked it on the soccer field. Jeff & Jordan got a bad cabbie and paid for it by ending up in last place. However, it was (predictably) a non-elimination. So Team Big Brother lives to see another day. Also, how loaded was Jeff at the Pit Stop? Adorable. He told the greeter that he found Berlin “very pleasant.” Oh, I laughed.

Anyhoo, order of finish:

1.    Louie & Michael
2.    Steve & Allie
3.    Joe & Heidi
4.    Jet & Cord
5.    Carol & Brandy
6.    Dan & Jordan
7.    Brent & Caite
8.    Jordan & Jeff (NON-ELIMINATION)

Ooh, challenge. It’s about getting your ball into your basket, and isn’t that pretty much the goal of life? This challenge is for reward and it’s a really good reward. They get to choose their prize from the Sears Catalog, and our Heroes choose fishing gear and a cooking set. Our Villains choose tools, tarp and rope, no doubt to improve their 5th? 6th? 7th? attempt at a shelter.

Coach vs. Tom: Tom wins. Russell vs. Cirie: Russell wins. Candice vs. Courtney: Courtney isn’t heavy enough to do this challenge; Candice wins. James. Oily. James. Oily. James. Rupert vs. Danielle: Rupert wins and Danielle has one giant uniboob. Is that normal? Colby. Oily. Colby. Oily. Colby. Coily. Tyson brings the Villains to a win.

Coach is back to being the Rock and Roll Dragonslayer who enjoys to question and then answer himself. Russell found something in the sheath to a knife; it’s a clue to the hidden idol. Rob reads it aloud and they decide to all find it and get rid of it. Russell goes off on his own in the most conspicuous way possible. Sandra follows him to see what he’s doing. She declares him a stupid ass and returns to the tribe. Rob declares Russell a hobbit on crack.

The Heroes tribe finds a similar clue in the jar of coffee beans they had previously won. I guess they were being so sparing with the coffee that it took them a few days to find the clue. Everyone starts slowly walking away to look for the idol. Tom finds the right place but attracts too much attention and Amanda and James join him. Tom manages to secretly find the idol and hide it on his person, but Amanda figures it out and tells everybody.

Ooh, challenge. Once again, the challenge is about balls. It’s the same challenge that the other Russell passed out from and was sent home. Rob and Tom are in the balls, directing blindfolded tribemates to direct them to the puzzle table. The Villains arrive first; Rob is doing a really damn good job directing his people, and they win!

Tom is worried because he lost the challenge and because he knows that everyone knows he’s got the hidden idol. Candice and Cirie discuss how to use that idol to force either Tom or Colby out of the game. Tom tries to save himself by telling Amanda and JT that the idol will only be used by committee, but then he offers the idol to Amanda and JT. Amanda talks to Cirie about getting rid of Candice, but Cirie doesn’t like it at all and she’s pretty persuasive. Tom realizes she’s the “puppet master” and now wants her to go. JT approaches them, and is asked to switch his plans so that Tom can use his idol to get rid of Cirie. Clever. But WWJTD?

JT states at Tribal that it’s too early to get rid of strong players in preparation for the merge. Rupert wants to align the entire tribe, but says he has promises he intends to keep, even though it doesn’t sound like it’s something he wants to do. James speaks of himself in the third person and even though he’s diplomatic, I just think he’s a weirdo now (unless he’s oily).

This vote is particularly suspenseful, but right before Jeff reads the result, Tom plays his idol. Rupert and Candice grin. Will it be Colby or Cirie? IT’S CIRIE! I can’t believe it, she REALLY can’t believe it, and I’m sure it totally sucks for her since they got rid of her using her own plan. JT has apparently left his alliance and teamed up with Colby and Tom.

Next week, Candice defects and Rob thinks Russell is a defect.

That was too much that happened. Sayid decided to be evil and killed Dogon and now the Smoke Monster is killing hand over fist! And then our local channel pre-empted something and we missed the end. What happened to Kate and Claire?