At the Heroes camp, Rupert and Amanda are pissed about JT’s flip to get rid of Cirie. At the Villains camp, almost everyone humours Coach and participates in some of his meditation exercises. Then Coach starts singing like an Orthodox priest and Sandra and Courtney start to laugh. Russell isn’t interested in any of that, so he uses his time to look for the idol…and he finds it! He declares that Rob is no longer running the show.

Reward challenge today is Football for Crazy People, and the reward is a smorgasbord of chocolate (and bright beach towels). I don’t know why they crave chocolate while they’re out there. If I was hot, sticky and thirsty, I would not want to eat a bunch of chocolate. The Heroes look grim and refuse to even look at the chocolate. Colby gets snippy with Jeff, in a hurry to start the challenge…and then he sits out. Almost immediately, James wrenches his knee horribly and has to sit out for the rest of the game, leaving the Heroes short a player. Soon after that, Rupert accidentally smashes Jerri’s face into the fencepost. He apologizes, but Jerri just brushes him off. The Villains win, and Jeff asks James to stay behind to get checked out more thoroughly by the medics.

The Villains travel to a beautiful park with manicured grounds, and gorge themselves on chocolate desserts. Then they go swimming in a gorgeous lagoon/grotto/cave. It’s just astounding. I need a tropical vacation. While everyone’s cavorting, Russell confides in Poverty about the immunity idol he’s found. He also shares the news with Coach and there is much bowing, kneeling and ceremony as Coach and Russell express gratitude for each other. BARF. Coach actually starts to rethink his opinion of Russell just because Russell honoured him with trust.

At the Heroes camp, they all discuss whether James will be back. It’s been a long time since the challenge and Amanda is in tears, distressed that James might not come back to the game. He does, and as he hobbles up the beach, Amanda goes running to him. He tells them that they don’t know exactly what’s wrong with his knee…it doesn’t hurt but he can’t bend it. He wants to keep playing. Candice immediately wants to cut James loose if (I mean, when) they lose the immunity challenge.

The challenge is another familiar one. Everyone’s blindfolded and partnered up. Each tribe has a caller who directs each pair toward large puzzle pieces that, once collected, need to be assembled into a cube. This challenge is always awesome because blindfolded people are funny. And when blindfolded people hit other blindfolded people in the head with giant puzzle pieces, that is also funny. So? What’s wrong with a little Schadenfreude? That’s why we watch these shows, isn’t it?

In a shocking turn of events, the Heroes lose the challenge! Har. Rupert and pals want to oust Tom, while Colby and Tom discuss getting rid of James. JT runs around, thrilled that he gets to be the swing vote again, but he needs to be careful of that. Swingvoters usually get eliminated quickly in this game. At tribal council, James insists he can beat anyone physically despite his knee issue. Everyone votes. JT swings back toward Rupert and Amanda and votes out Tom.

Next week: Rob and Russell are in love.

A fun episode of The Amazing Race last night. Sauerkraut, beer, burping, Germans, soccer, bungee jumping, more burping.

The cowboys fell behind but still rocked it on the soccer field. Jeff & Jordan got a bad cabbie and paid for it by ending up in last place. However, it was (predictably) a non-elimination. So Team Big Brother lives to see another day. Also, how loaded was Jeff at the Pit Stop? Adorable. He told the greeter that he found Berlin “very pleasant.” Oh, I laughed.

Anyhoo, order of finish:

1.    Louie & Michael
2.    Steve & Allie
3.    Joe & Heidi
4.    Jet & Cord
5.    Carol & Brandy
6.    Dan & Jordan
7.    Brent & Caite
8.    Jordan & Jeff (NON-ELIMINATION)

Ooh, challenge. It’s about getting your ball into your basket, and isn’t that pretty much the goal of life? This challenge is for reward and it’s a really good reward. They get to choose their prize from the Sears Catalog, and our Heroes choose fishing gear and a cooking set. Our Villains choose tools, tarp and rope, no doubt to improve their 5th? 6th? 7th? attempt at a shelter.

Coach vs. Tom: Tom wins. Russell vs. Cirie: Russell wins. Candice vs. Courtney: Courtney isn’t heavy enough to do this challenge; Candice wins. James. Oily. James. Oily. James. Rupert vs. Danielle: Rupert wins and Danielle has one giant uniboob. Is that normal? Colby. Oily. Colby. Oily. Colby. Coily. Tyson brings the Villains to a win.

Coach is back to being the Rock and Roll Dragonslayer who enjoys to question and then answer himself. Russell found something in the sheath to a knife; it’s a clue to the hidden idol. Rob reads it aloud and they decide to all find it and get rid of it. Russell goes off on his own in the most conspicuous way possible. Sandra follows him to see what he’s doing. She declares him a stupid ass and returns to the tribe. Rob declares Russell a hobbit on crack.

The Heroes tribe finds a similar clue in the jar of coffee beans they had previously won. I guess they were being so sparing with the coffee that it took them a few days to find the clue. Everyone starts slowly walking away to look for the idol. Tom finds the right place but attracts too much attention and Amanda and James join him. Tom manages to secretly find the idol and hide it on his person, but Amanda figures it out and tells everybody.

Ooh, challenge. Once again, the challenge is about balls. It’s the same challenge that the other Russell passed out from and was sent home. Rob and Tom are in the balls, directing blindfolded tribemates to direct them to the puzzle table. The Villains arrive first; Rob is doing a really damn good job directing his people, and they win!

Tom is worried because he lost the challenge and because he knows that everyone knows he’s got the hidden idol. Candice and Cirie discuss how to use that idol to force either Tom or Colby out of the game. Tom tries to save himself by telling Amanda and JT that the idol will only be used by committee, but then he offers the idol to Amanda and JT. Amanda talks to Cirie about getting rid of Candice, but Cirie doesn’t like it at all and she’s pretty persuasive. Tom realizes she’s the “puppet master” and now wants her to go. JT approaches them, and is asked to switch his plans so that Tom can use his idol to get rid of Cirie. Clever. But WWJTD?

JT states at Tribal that it’s too early to get rid of strong players in preparation for the merge. Rupert wants to align the entire tribe, but says he has promises he intends to keep, even though it doesn’t sound like it’s something he wants to do. James speaks of himself in the third person and even though he’s diplomatic, I just think he’s a weirdo now (unless he’s oily).

This vote is particularly suspenseful, but right before Jeff reads the result, Tom plays his idol. Rupert and Candice grin. Will it be Colby or Cirie? IT’S CIRIE! I can’t believe it, she REALLY can’t believe it, and I’m sure it totally sucks for her since they got rid of her using her own plan. JT has apparently left his alliance and teamed up with Colby and Tom.

Next week, Candice defects and Rob thinks Russell is a defect.

Weird how this episode took place in Chile, after the awful earthquake they suffered this weekend. Hoping everyone in the extended TAR family is safe and well.

As for the episode itself, though, was I the only one completely bored? Do you know I saw two teams that I didn’t even recognize for a while? That’s not good. The Brothers Cowboy provided us with yet another random unintentionally dirty comment, with the “We’d run the race pretty slow with our pants around our ankles, Phil.”

Also, we found out that Jeff may be as dense as Jordan. And Brent & Caite started off the leg with some nasty food poisoning and a hospital visit and such as. Finishing order after the jump.

Order of Finish

1.    Jet & Cord
2.    Steve & Allie
3.    Carol & Brandy
4.    Joe & Heidi
5.    Jordan & Jeff
6.    Dan & Jordan
7.    Brent & Caite
8.    Louie & Michael
9.    Monique & Shawne (ELIMINATED)

I haven’t seen it yet, but feel free to discuss in the comments, and I’ll be right back.

Okay, I’m back, and unfortunately what I’m back to is this:

Parvati the Irresistable has shown absolutely no personal growth since the last time we saw her. She giggles, she makes eyes. But not everyone is susceptible. Personally, I think she’s gross…she’s dirty and she looks like she smells, kind of like Kevin Federline. Jerri is even a bit jealous, but she doesn’t need to be because Coach can see right through her!

And we him.

Coach prepares for the challenge in his very special way. He is centred. He is strong, and he will be victorious. The challenge is for both reward and immunity; opponents pair up and try to knock each other into the mud. Coach knocks Rupert out and begins his song of victory. But wait! What? What’s that, Jeff?

Coach had pushed Rupert partially with his arm, so they fought again. This time Rupert easily beats Coach. Cirrie also easily beats Jerri, who at the last second decides she doesn’t like the game and tries to run away. JT nails Tyson, and then Tyson kisses him on the head. Amanda does this to Whatserface Frillypants:

James climbs up onto the platform and he looks like he’s been eating steroids and people. He throws Randy into the mud with one shove like the sad, sorry ragdoll Randy is. The Heroes win, and I’m pretty sure James belongs on the other team now. He’s an asshole!

At tribal council they discuss the meaning of past Survivor relationships on the players this season. Coach collects firewood like nobody’s business; Sandra points out that the machete “grew legs and walked off,” because she KNOWS someone hid it, because it’s something she would (and totally did) do. In the end, none of it mattered because they all got rid of the person they liked the least, Randy. No one likes Randy.

Next week Coach cries like a baby and Russell is declared a bonehead. Same old, then.

This week’s episode of The Amazing Race was pretty fun. Animal tasks are always enjoyable, especially with spitting llamas and kicking cows. Due to some bus drama and shenanigans, order of the teams switched up a lot, which I enjoy. Also, did they do a casting call for Most Unpleasant Gays in America for this season?

Order of finish and elimination after the jump.

Order of Finish:

1.     Jet & Cord
2.     Joe & Heidi
3.     Carol & Brandy
4.     Brent & Caite
5.     Monique & Shawne
6.     Jordan & Jeff
7.     Steve & Allie
8.     Dan & Jordan
9.     Louie & Michael
10.    Jody & Shannon (ELIMINATED)

Boston Bob is sick of the way his buffoon tribe is so disinterested in building a comfortable camp, or doing any work at all. After a night of miserable rain, the tribe begins to tear down and rebuild their 4th or 5th shelter, if you believe Randy! But it’s honestly not surprising considering all of the Villians’ tribe members behaved exactly the same way on their original seasons of Survivor – no one is interested in doing any work if they can get someone else to do all the work.

The Heroes, namely Rupert, are lauding themselves for being an industrious tribe and enjoying the fact that everyone is working together. However, Rupert is not pleased with Stephenie’s coconuts and would prefer them to be much smaller. Rupert also thinks his best move would be to get rid of Stephenie altogether.

And then BOSTON ROB FAINTS, Y’ALLS! He’s walking in the woods while his pre- or post- recorded monologue is expressing his frustration with his tribe and the guy just eats it! Luckily Jerri sees it happen and is able to get help. It was actually really scary, to see a young man in great shape be unable to put a bottle of water to his mouth. I thought for sure he was going to be removed from the game but then medics announce that it’s worse than it looks and he is actually just fine. Rob laughs and says the incident brought about a case of cry-baby-itis, as well as an epiphany: Stop trying to play the good guy because it obviously makes him sick. Awesome.

Combined reward and immunity challenge! It’s the Make the Stairs Spell Your Tribe challenge so Jeff announces Tyson, J.T. and Coach’s familiarity with this challenge. Reward is tarp, rope, nails. Courtney and Randy sit out for the Villians and Rupert sits out for the Heroes because of his broken toe. Rob bounces right back from his having the vapours earlier.

The Heroes maintain a nice lead and I still wonder who the hell Danielle Frilly Pants is. Colby and James run together, which should have been broadcast in slo-mo. The Villians pull ahead…they win! James is pissed because he feels they succumbed to the “too many chiefs” blunder. Stephenie doesn’t like James’ attitude about that and while I love Steph, James is right. Back at camp, everyone agrees that it’s better to organize themselves and work together, choose a leader, but they keep arguing because they don’t understand that they are agreeing.

Tom says he thinks he’s better than James. Ooookay.

The Heroes are having a very difficult time deciding who to get rid of. Tom, Stephenie and Colby plot to get rid of Amanda while James enjoys telling the rest of the tribe how Stephenie must be what’s wrong with their tribe since she’s the only person to be the very last one on her loser of a tribe. Personally, I looked at it the other way and saw Stephenie carrying her tribe, but whatever. James goes absolutely crazy trying to get everyone against Stephenie that even though I agreed with his point about “one voice,” I now think he is completely looney tunes.

At tribal council Jeff asks James to point out who was bothering him during the challenge so he fingers Stephenie and they start fighting nonsense. Colby steps in to defend Stephenie, then Tom jumps in and basically reveals who is in what alliance for no good reason at all, except maybe to help Stephenie get voted off. On her way out Steph suggests the tribe not slag each other off so much, and James tells her to shut up. Oooookay.

Next week: Tom becomes the James Whisperer?

A good, strong start for the 16th season of The Amazing Race. Enjoying the casting; even the stunt casting is fine with me. Go Team Grandma! Your thoughts?